You love where you work, but you feel like your colleagues may be a little tone deaf when it comes to speaking to you as a member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) community. You know that many of them mean well, but you find a lot of what they do invasive and inappropriate.

If you tell your employer that these things make you uncomfortable or create a hostile work environment, then they should take steps to educate the staff and prevent the discrimination or harassment from continuing. You deserve to work in a safe, appropriate work environment.

What are some questions that people of the LGBTQ community should not be asked at work?

Unless you have one of a very few specific jobs, sexuality shouldn’t play much of a role in your work day. If someone tells you that you “don’t seem gay,” it may make you feel very uncomfortable. You should be able to go through the day without anyone commenting on your sexuality.

Another serious issue is if a co-worker won’t call a member of the LGBTQ community by their preferred pronoun. Intentional misuse of pronouns could be considered harassment, or at the very least, a microaggression. If this is happening at work, talk to your employer about including trans-inclusive policies in the workplace. If that doesn’t help, then you may want to speak with the human resources department or your attorney.

At the end of the day, it’s not difficult to be kind to one another or respectful of other people. If your workplace is hostile toward the LGBTQ community or you feel that you’re being harassed, you deserve an opportunity to make your discomfort known.