If you are preparing for a divorce, the talk with your soon-to-be spouse may feel like one of the hardest conversations you need to have. If you are a parent, there is one conversation that will be even more difficult. That is the conversation between you and your children.
According to the Huffington Post, to remain in a high-conflict marriage is worse for your children. Your task should not be to save your marriage but to find a way to talk to your kids about the split.
When should you bring up the divorce?
You should only bring up the divorce once you and your spouse have made a decision. You do not want the children to take on any uncertainty. You may want to give your kids a week or two to process what you tell them. Try to give the information before a weekend to have their family close while they process the information.
How should you hold the conversation?
You and your ex should have the conversation together with your children, as long as the two of you can be amicable and mature. You should plan what you want to say so that children see you as united. You never want to pin the blame on yourself or your soon-to-be former spouse. Instead, regardless of how messy or complex the divorce is, show that the two of you came to the agreement willingly and set a positive tone for the future.
Children work best when you keep everything simple. The younger your children are, the more they need to be literal rather than with unclear words.